God, I need a sign!
In my earlier years, I took the verse in Jeremiah about God having ‘a plan and a purpose’ for me as a surefire way to ‘miss’ the will of God. I would get completely wrapped up in restlessness and frantic prayer, begging God to show me the decision I needed to make. Should I do this… or that, God? Should I take this job… or not? Should I say ‘yes’ to this opportunity? Is this from you, God? Please, I need a sign, God!
As I have matured and grown and experienced more in this life, I see that so often, a sign from God does not usually look like a neon arrow in the sky nor a handwritten note placed near the coffee pot, outlining next steps, and signed “Your loving heavenly Father”.
Wouldn’t that be nice? It would make things far easier, wouldn’t it?
One of my favourite Christmas movies is the Nativity Story. There is one poignant scene where Joseph draws apart from Mary in order to address God in prayer. He stands, uncertainly, his hand to his mouth, his eyebrows knitted together in concern. He asks God for a sign that he is doing the right thing. It is such a beautiful, honest moment of prayer.
And yet, as we continue watching their journey unfold, we see hardships and difficulties - harsh landscape, inadequate footwear and bleeding heels, a treacherous river crossing, thieves in the towns, lack of food. The journey towards Bethlehem continues to be fraught with difficulty.
And as Joseph holds Mary in his arms in the middle of Bethlehem, and as she cries in the pain of labour, they both desperately cry out for God’s hand of provision. There is no room. Things seem hopeless for the young parents of the Messiah.
Where is the sign from God for which Joseph prayed?
Why didn’t God send another angel to comfort and encourage? God didn’t inspire a person to show up, scroll in hand, with a comforting Scripture verse at just the right time. There didn’t seem to be an overt sign from God.
Often people come to spiritual direction in order to discern a next step, or for help in a difficult decision. We meet together in order to listen deeply for the voice of the Spirit within their life circumstances.
When we are asking God for a sign, for direction and discernment, I consider this to be an invitation from God to lean into the relationship that you share. It is an invitation to be more attentive to God, during our day, to the ways that God is moving.
As we ask God to help us be more present to His presence in our lives, we may become aware of the ‘signs’. And friend, they are usually subtle!
Something a friend says sticks with you. A line from a song on the radio resonates. You notice a particular phrase in a book you are reading. A word on a billboard seems to stand out.
Pay attention to what you are drawn to. Pay attention to something within that seems to resonate. Christine Valters Paintner calls us to notice what ‘shimmers’.
If we can let go of the idea that God’s voice is loud and booming, and try to become aware of the “still, small voice”, we can begin to discover the signs that God is pointing out along the way.
And what I wish I could have told my younger self is this:
God will not likely meet you in a dry fleece on a wet ground, nor in a flaming, neon arrow in the sky or in a loud declaration, but in a still, small voice. Pay attention. Follow that which ‘shimmers’ for you. For God has created you and has blessed you with specific gifts, a unique personality type and particular life experiences. But God has also planted within you a deep love for something. Lean in close to God, and keep your eyes and ears open daily for that which ‘shimmers’. This will help you discern your path, towards the unique way that God has created you to bless this broken world.
