Invitation
As I was rushing into Canadian Tire, focused on knocking off another to-do from my list, I noticed her standing at the doors. She seemed to be scanning the parking lot, a look of concern on her face. Garishly painted eyebrows that seemed a bit too high on her forehead, gave her a look of perpetual surprise. There was something dishevelled in her appearance. In my fleeting sideways and cursory glance, I noticed that she seemed to be carrying a lot of bags. I hurried by, thinking that she must be waiting for someone to pick her up and that her look of concern was due to her ride being delayed.
A few minutes later, as I exited the store, I noticed that she was gone from the entrance. Inwardly, I breathed a sigh of relief and briskly walked to my vehicle. However, mere seconds later, I saw her again… across the parking lot, still looking a bit lost… and walking around in socks.
I averted my gaze while inside me a debate was raging…
Should I stop and ask her if she needs help? Do I have time for this?
… and excuses ran rampant:
I don’t have any cash in my wallet. What if I can’t give her what she wants? What if her needs are too big for me? Or what if I don’t know where to find the help that she needs?
Truth be told, I was fearful. I was fearful of the deep need and desperation that I saw on her face. What if her needs were too much for me to handle?
I drove away, but in the past week, I’ve been pondering that woman, and that choice that I made.
I made a choice to turn away from someone who seemed to be experiencing a bit of distress. I chose to make excuses and to have internal debates.
And this is where God has been meeting me. I felt the gentle question of the Spirit stirring inside:
What if this woman was a divine interruption in my day?
After all, God knew I’d be coming to that parking lot at that time.
How do I know that she wasn’t an angel in disguise?
I’ll tell you what I know. She is a human being. And, as a fellow human being, and more to the point, as a follower of Jesus, I turned away.
I prioritized my to-do list and my own feelings of comfort over a beloved child of God who may have needed help.
This is not easy to admit. I desire to be like Jesus, someone who is able to prioritize loving others. I want to create places and spaces of safety and hospitality.
What if she was God’s invitation to me that evening?
What if God was inviting me into an encounter with another person?
What if God was inviting me to be his hands and feet to someone who needed love and care in that moment?
It may have been an awkward encounter, or an uncomfortable one.
But are God’s invitations always comfortable?
As I pondered the situation with God over the next few days I felt as though God was reassuring me that I was not required to give what I didn’t have to give.
But…. that I did have something to offer - myself.
I could have looked this woman in the eyes and asked her if she needed help. I could have given her my attention. What about simply making this child of God feel seen? God was not asking me to help fix the situation. (God knows that we usually can’t!) But I could have come close to her, I could have chosen to be present to her in her pain or her distress, and I could have acknowledged her. I could have chosen care over comfort.
God’s invitations are sometimes beautiful. But sometimes they aren’t.
Sometimes they look like a dishevelled, distressed woman in a parking lot in socks.
I’m praying that next time, courage and God’s love will trump my to-do list.
